


Heart of ice, eyes of gold

by aerike



Category: Castlevania (Cartoon), 悪魔城ドラキュラ | Castlevania Series
Genre: Angst, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:21:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21725923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aerike/pseuds/aerike
Summary: He hears Sypha say he's cold, that standing near him is the same as being alone. Minutes later, the Belmont and her are laughing together, sharing warm jokes.He can't help but feel betrayed.
Relationships: Alucard | Adrian Tepes | Arikado Genya/Trevor Belmont/Sypha Belnades
Comments: 2
Kudos: 47





	Heart of ice, eyes of gold

There's always an itch on the back of his mind, an itch that looks exactly like his father's homicidal expression, his nose, claws and forehead stained with Alucard's blood.

He feels his throat tighten whenever he thinks about his fa-- _Dracula_ , about his inevitable patricide. There's a selfish part in his mind, one that sounds a lot like his child-self, too used to having his parents nearby protecting him, taking care of him, teaching him about science and martial arts, but also how to turn into a wolf. That part always wonders if there is no other solution to this, if he can't turn to Belmont and Sypha and say "hey, I think my father is okay now, since this village hasn't burned down yet". He buries that part of his brain deep down his soul, refusing to listen to its whines about how life wasn't fair, and how he just wanted to go back home.

But now he was the Sleeping Soldier, and he had to work with a Scholar and a Hunter in order to kill his father (commit patricide sounded so heavy on his mind, a constant weight on his chest, on parts he wished were dead).

However, during their endless steps on the road, their constant bickering, their slashes across demons' flesh, Alucard found himself caring for the safety of Sypha and, with a small shudder, the Belmont's.

Belmont was, in the best days, a machine of grumbling conversation and snarky observations, something that Alucard got weirdly used to, always on his toes, ready to throw his own retorts at the hunter's face.

He liked Sypha from the first day, loving the fact that he had someone to ramble about books, magic, and languages that were lost to the world years ago. The Belmont always had a snarky response whenever they start rambling about something for over five minutes. Alucard doesn't mind, if the Belmont doesn't want to be part of their conversation, he might as well shut up.

But he also couldn't help but notice how the Speaker's eyes seemed to shine the most whenever she was laughing and having a witty conversation with the hunter.

He tried to not care. He couldn't make her act in any way or form around him, nor could he ask the Belmont how he did such a feature, so he did his best to accept the light friendship they seemed to have, keep the affable friendship they seemed to share now.

But he was cold, cold, _cold_ , and he always forgot that, always forgot how the same flames that took his mother away from him, took away his father's soul and sanity, also took any kind of warmth he could bring himself to share.

He forgot that, but apparently Sypha noticed, and the Belm-- _Trevor_ , seemed to agree.

She calls him cold, a cold spot in the room, says that even when standing near him, loneliness was still around. He can hear them perfectly, as perfectly as he can hear his heart break and feel his throat being stabbed by thousands of tiny needles. A part of him that already screaming for him to _leave_ , just kill his father and be done with this world, yelling that he had nothing else to offer to this world besides his sword and his father's blood, was asking itself if it was on purpose, if they wanted him to hear what a _cold_ spot, how loneliness followed him around like a ghost.

Minutes later, he hears them laughing warmly, sharing light jokes, and he can hear their hearts beating quickly, he can hear Trevor being gentle for once in his life, can feel the warmth inside Sypha's laugh, and he can't help but compare it to his coldness.

He can't help, but feel betrayed.

He has his father's castle now. A chaotic building, fuelled by his father's incompreehensible powers, close to a library full to the brim with books about destroying his kind, with fanged skulls as trophies.

He feels lonely, as if his coldness had leaked through his seams, has closed its frozen hands around his throat and covered his eyes with loneliness. He wonders if someday he will feel warmth again, _be_ warmth again. If Sypha and Trevor were his chance at being something _better_ and if he had thrown it away, watched it sink just like his family, watched it burn just like ashes that were too familiar to him now.

Having his father's castle might mean he will have his throne now. But he doesn't want it. Doesn't want to sit on a throne made of blood and attempted genocide, doesn't want to wander forever on halls made of memories and lonely ghosts.

He wants to be warm, but he feels like winter is what he is now.

**Author's Note:**

> so!! i know its pretty short but like, the ending of season 2 dude  
> the ending  
> i'll never be over it, it'll be season 43 and i still wont be over it  
> just let this bastard be happy dammit


End file.
